Tuesday, May 19, 2015

A Difficult Day

"It's the left over humans.
The survivors.
...I witness the ones who are left behind, crumbling among the jigsaw puzzle of realization, despair, and surprise.  They have punctured hearts.  They have beaten lungs."

-The Book Thief

Today I found out my grandmother was diagnosed with a rapidly growing tumor in her brain.  She has maybe 3 options of treatment.  
1) Don't treat it.  Survival time: 3-5 weeks. 

2) Chemo. Survival: questionable.  A few months?  A couple of years?  Depending how her body handles it.  This will not be a great quality of life and it will not result in surviving.  Just delaying. 

3) Surgery.  They won't know if this is an actual option yet.  She will find out Thursday if they can go in at all.

For those of you just tuning in here, my dad died this past September from a neurological thing.  Meanwhile, my great aunt was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  She is supposed to have surgery to remove a lump in hopes of getting it all out in early June.  My granddad also is not doing very well.  He's had heart problems for a while, but since my dad passed, he has been doing worse.  My whole family is falling apart, it seems.  

School is winding down, which means the kids are acting like wild animals, my car is in the shop and the worst part about getting it back will be paying for it, we are trying to pack and move, I'm trying to schedule a 20 hour driving course and some technology PD over my summer athletics schedule, and my brother's wedding is the week after graduation, his birthday is tomorrow.  I don't know what to get him for either of these events, nor where the money to buy those things will come from.  

I could just use a break. 


  1. Your life is so stress filled right now. I hope your school year ends quickly. Could you write your brother a note and bake a favorite family food item? Above all right now find time for your family and yourself. The gifts can wait. Blessings!

  2. Prayers for peace and and comfort.

  3. Prayers for peace and and comfort.

  4. You definitely need a break! I'm sorry for all the sadness and illness in your family. As for that brother's birthday, how about a letter telling him what he means to you with some wonderful memories from childhood. That's the best gift ever. I scrolled through your blog a bit - love the cat pics. And you're a good poet, would that brother like a poem from you? Blessings as you face these new challenges.

  5. You have a lot weighing on your heart and mind right now. Just continue to breathe. There is so much you have no control over. As others have mentioned, a gift from the heart - a note, a memory, a funny little trinket to remind your brother of browning up, will mean more than anything else. Your break will come soon. Until then ... Be brave. Have faith. Tomorrow is a new day.

  6. Oh my! Hang in there and may there be some peace in your heart (and classroom) as well as a chance to spend time with the people who are most dear to you.

  7. Thank you all so much! I am counting down the days to the end of school Tomorrow is a doctor's appointment, some more scans, and then surgery Friday. We'll see how it goes (fingers crossed). I love the idea of a note/letter!! Thanks again for all the support, everyone!

  8. Sometimes all the cards are thrown in the air at once. You cannot catch them all. Let them go. Sift through them and spend time on the important things that make your memories dearer. Write your brother an IOU if you have no time or energy left right now. He feels the same way!

  9. You write from the heart. Genuine. Honest.